We have to admit, we've been a bit lazy lately. The shit continued to pile up, and we didn't shovel. We're sorry, badfic warriors. How can we call ourselves your generals when we have abandoned the battle?

However, one known to you, but whose screen name will go unmentioned to protect him from fanbratty tantrums, has been fighting the good fight. He has not been alone. We feel a tiny flicker of warmth in the cavernous black hole of our collective heart when we think of the good work done by the badfic warriors.

Because of the efforts by the brave badfic killers, "Brothers and Sisters" by DallyWinstonsWifey, was brought to our attention. We would link it, but it has already been killed. A moment of silence, please. 

However, she left a lovely author's note on why she decided to delete this story. We would like to tell you she realized that it was hopelessly bad and she needed to make serious revisions.

But we would be lying. 

Us in bold, fanbrat in normal. One ... two ... three ... launch!

Umm...I had to delete it, I was getting reviews. 

No, actually, you were finally getting concrit. The shock to your fanbrat mind -- we can't imagine it. Mostly because we can't imagine being a fanbrat.

And I mean reviews as in bad ones. Okay I know you all are gonna think 'NO! SHE CAN'T DELETE! OVER SOME CRAPPY REVIEWS!?' 

Uh ... no, actually, we weren't thinking that at all. We were thinking  you don't need that extra exclamation point in the middle of the sentance.

Okay no that is not the full case just the part of it. Even I have a breaking point and that breaking point was reached.

The utter lack of commas may force us to our breaking point.

Apparently people weren't taught if you don't like something to leave it alone.

Actually, no, we weren't. We were taught to poke at it until it broke or to stage a bloodless coup. Just consider yourself lucky we chose the former and not the latter. 

I got reviews on saying how childish I was

We saw your author's note, and we think the assessment was accurate. Sadly, you have bah-leeted (tm) the story, so we can not spork it here. However, there was the section which mentioned beating those who would offer you critique with a metal baseball bat. You must admit, that's not exactly the most mature reaction.

and how this is just some fandom but no it is not! I had so much fun me and my friends would talk on AIM as we wrote now I can't do that anymore. 

You could. Just don't post your crapfic anymore, and everyone will be happy.

Some of these reviews just left me in tears

Do you hear that? It's the sound of the world's smallest violin playing "My Heart Pumps Purple Piss For You."

and I'm pretty sure the person who did it to me laughed their ass off. 

It really wasn't that funny. We got much more mileage out of Ivy and Two-Bitty. At most, we snerked a little.

No I'm not happy I have to delete. 

Strangely enough, we are rather happy that you've chosen to delete. 

As a matter of fact I'm crying as I write this right now. I just learned this morning that my story was published on a worst fan fiction site. 

That generally happens when your fic sucks, pretty.

Now how do you think that's gonna affect me?

Um ... it will stop you from writing? *crosses fingers*

I thought about this for an hour last night on how I should just delete. I knew no one was gonna care 

Oh, how right you were, pretty.

so I thought 'Hey, I might as well just get rid of it and revise it and put up a new one.' Don't worry guys this story will be back, and it'll be successful! 

AGGHH! NO! 

...

...

...

Ah, well, if it's as bad as what you've previously posted, then we won't have to worry about anything more than badfic eyeburn.

I just thought I was entitled to write to this site 

Hmmm ... didn't read that one in the Bill of Rights. Hold on a minute ...

Okay, speech ... press ... religion ... keep and bear arms ... assembly ... petition ... freedom from search and seizure ... cruel and unusual punishment ... self-incrimination ... 

*snip! for length and fanbrat incomprehension*

Nothing there about being entitled to inflict bad fanfic on others via the internet.

Of course, the founding fathers didn't know about the internet. 

and share with my friends and share with other people who WANT to read it.

Trust us, only your friends wanted to read it. Of the fifteen reviews you had, we think maybe five or six were positive. The fandom, it is trying to tell you something.

According to the reviews no one wants to read it but they keep on reading so how about that!? 

No one really wants to see decapitated and dismembered corpses, either, but how many times have you seen people rubbernecking at accidents? The compulsion to see just how bad is compelling.

Okay I'm done talking about this I'm gonna get even more upset 

Upset enough to threaten us with bodily harm?

and yeah...but I promise you all that like me, 

All two of you.

I WILL be back. Adrianna's gonna be back and with a kick ass story!!

Be still our hearts.

However, you will note JohnnyCakesWifey is referenced as the fanbrat gone wild in the case file title. 

We received a juicy, delightfully outraged private message from DallyWinstonsWifey's friend, JohnnyCakesWifey. Please note the originality in their choice of names. 

We immediately saw the potential for spork and snerk. This came to us as a Block Paragraph of Doom (tm), which we have broken up to save you from eyeburn.

I love your inconsiderate critical analysis of other people's work. 

Another fan? Thank you.

Yeah ok your SUPPOSED to tell peopel what you think of their sotries. 

And you are supposed to use good grammar. But yes, that is the purpose of the site. Your intelligence is only matched by your grammatical ability.

TO HELP them.

To help them do what? Realize their writing is crap? We pretty much do that already.

You didnthat at ALL.

Yeah, we did. Didn't she delete it?

How are you supposed to make her story better by tearing it down 

How else are we to show her that she's doing it wrong?

are you serious? 

As a heart attack.

My best friend is an excellent writer? 

See, even you aren't sure of the truth of that statement.

Physoco little twerps? are you serious? 

Are you repetitive?

twerps, if your going to try and insult us, please use current insults. 

Next time, we will be sure to speak in your language. How's "Hai! U R beeyotches, lol. kthanxbye!"

Your attempt at name calling is a disgrace. Please try again and come harder. 

Let us explain this to you slowly: No one else is masturbating to your fantasies about the Outsiders characters. No one else. Just you. We will not "come harder." We are more than a little disturbed at your request. 

If it was so bad, what was the point of reading it?

Two words: Train wreck.

Just to have your sorry opinions head because noone else in the REAL world cares about them?

Your friend seemed to care a great deal. We guess she isn't a member of the real world.

I love this quote of yours 

You seem to enjoy quite a bit of our work.

"In addition, why would these boys have any interest in hanging with their younger sisters?", have you READ The Outsiders? 

Many times, which is why we understand the book is about male friendship.

As far as the Curtis's 

Curtises.

go, they HAVE to stick together so who else would they hang out. 

Oh, we don't know ... their friends? Ponyboy even mentions in the book he has friends from school.

Johnny Cade would be especially likely to hang out with his younger sister 

Johnny Cade didn't have a younger sister.

because he didnt haveanyone else blood related to cling to.

We seem to remember Johnny clinging to his parents -- you know, his blood relatives. It even set Dallas off on a rant, if we remember correctly, which we do.

And if you have read The Outsiders

Didn't we already say we had? 

you would know that when Steve's cousin came to visit, the boys hung out with her as well. 

The book only said that when they interacted with her, they treated her well. It didn't say they hung out.

That quote was clear opinion DEFINATLY not fact. 

We agree with you in that it's your opinion, and certainly not fact.

Girls didnt associate with boys? 

No, not in the way they do today, they didn't.

Once again, in The Outsiders book, remeber when Ponyboy refrenced the GREASER GIRLS?! Remeber how often Sylvia, Sandy and Evie were spoken about. 

Spoken being the key term. They never showed up in the book, because they didn't hang out with the boys on a causal basis.

Obviously boys and girls associated in some way shape or form or else we wouldnt BE HERE. 

Yes, boys and girls did date. This was the primary way in which they socialized. Your ignorance of 1960s social customs and mores is showing.

"Also, Tyleah and Adrianna are names that would have been practically nonexistent in 1966." Depending on the location, that is a flase statement. 

Well, at least it's not a false statement.

Maybe in Tulsa Oklahoma in the 1960's. 

How about anywhere in the county? Tyleah hasn't been one of the 1,000 most popular names for girls in the last 50 years. Adrianna didn't even show up until 1977, and its highest ranking was 156 in 1997. Don't take our word for it -- go check the Social Security website.

Tyleah is a form of TALIA which is a very common name if you DONT know. 

We didn't, since Talia didn't show up until 1977 either, and its highest ranking was 333 in 2004. You fail again. 

You know, in order to avoid looking like a complete moron, you might want to try not talking out of your ass. Just a suggestion.

"Johnny is shy, he doesn't "full on tackle" people, especially girls, of whom he is a little afraid. He is eyegougingly out of character here." How do you know if Johnny Cade didnt have a sister he wouldnt tackle her? 

But he doesn't have a sister.

YES it is very true, Johnny was a very shy person,

For disliking us so much, you seem to agree with us quite often.

but around those he was comfortable he would talk and joke around.

No he wouldn't. Several times in the book, it is mentioned Johnny is quiet even around the gang. At one point, Two-Bit says Johnny and Ponyboy must have interesting conversations, because neither of them speak, and, at another, Ponyboy says the gang thought they were doing quite well if they were able to get Johnny to joke at all.

Have you read the Outsiders? 

Wouldnt Johnny feel comfortable around hsi sister? I think so.

Ah, fanbrat, what you think and what is reality is two different things.

"Point of view tags are lazy writing. If you can't tip the audience to who is narrating with your writing, guess what? Yes, YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG!" People have their different styles of writing. I use Point of View tags. So the hell what. 

Go to a library or a bookstore. Pick up a book. Open it. Check for point of view tags. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. 

Yes, you are doing it wrong!

"Those who are truly capable of bringing the hurt do not need to advertise it. In canon, you don't see Dallas running around going "PH3R ME!!" 

PH3R ME? Are you serious? 

Actually, no, we were being facetious with our use of netspeak. 

How hypocritical, you dont even spell properly yet you want to critisize osomeone on their writing.  

... Says the person who misspells "don't," "criticism" and "someone." We won't even point out the numerous other times you've misspelled words in this message.

"All this entire thing is your self inserts going "HUR HUR HUR HUR! DALLY IS SO HOT! PONYBOY IS SO HOT! JOHNNY IS SO HOT! I HOPE HE LIKES ME! HUR HUR HUR HUR!"" Hur hur? Ok clarify what Hur hur means, and THEN we'll discuss that one. That was comepletely insignificant and made little to NO sense.  

Much like your friend's fic. Hur hur hur.

"Do you have ANY idea how often this is done? This fandom does NOT need another lame, badlydone rendition of this tired old tune." Last time i checked, fandom was what the fans WANTED to write, 

Fandom: I do not think it means what you think it means.

regardless if its an "old tune" as you say. Do you have any idea of how unintelligent you look taking time out your life to say write a full page on what you dont like? 

This message is 868 words long. Do you have any idea of how unintelligent you look taking time out of your life to write two full pages on something you don't like?

Seriously, please go read a book, preferably The Outsiders, because by this review you OBVIOUSLY dont know whta the hell your talking about. 

The stupidity ... it would burn if we weren't laughing so hard. 

We have to ask: In your world, if you say something enough times, does it come true?

"And you bring in the canon characters to repeat the summary of the premise of the book, which everyone knows and to have them drooling over your selfinsert" ARe oyu angry that noone really cares about the other characters in the book? The entire Outsiders story is based around Ponyboy, Johnny and Dallas. 

We have no idea what you are trying to say here. Your grammar and writing are so incomprehensible we can't understand what you are trying to say. That's special, right there. 

Badfic warriors, do you know what this fanbrat is trying to say?

"This is a trainwreck. If you want to write for your friends, then keep it to yourselves. Trust us, no one cares about your private fantasies, and no one wants to read it." Obviously someone who WANTED to read it was you. or else we wouldnt be having this conversation,now would we? 

We don't converse with fanbrats. We spork them.

Please take your sorry excuses for reviews somewhere else. Reviews are meant for CONSTRUCTIVE critizism.

We think you are confusing constructive criticism with asskissing.

Obviously name calling is not included in that catagory. 

We are confused. You started this message by telling us our insults weren't ghetto enough, now you're telling us not to bother? Make up your mind.

If you dont like the story, leave it alone without your input. Noone on here cares about your  input. 

Since you've been yammering at us for approximately 700 words, we suspect you do care. 

Of course, we won't leave it alone. Where else would we get our regular servings of fanbrattiness?

Stay Gold. You need to, you a sad soul to see. 

You grammar know not.

PS: If you want to try to write back. Please try to write back with at least a SEMI intellegnt response. 

Unlike your response?

Forget the name calling, its just going to make you look inadequate compared to the way I type. 

Hahahahahaha ... Inadequate we may be, but at least we realize the difference between "its" and "it's." By the way, you should have used "it's." We'd explain it to you, but our explanation might be inadequate.

You can write a review to my stories if you want to, 

You just want more reviews. You won't trick us that easily.

none of the things you say will affect me in any, way, shape, or form. 

Too bad, because we could have helped you with your comma problem. 

Better yet, how about i just block you so i wont have to waste even MORE time replying to your stupidity.

You are afraid we'll review, aren't you?